So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
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Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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