My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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