The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
