Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
