Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
