dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
