Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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