She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
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Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
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Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Can you bring me the toilet please
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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