Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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