Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
