My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
