in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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