Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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