when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
