Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I need to wash the frat house off of me
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