ugly people sure do ruin things
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
