Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
