he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
