i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
