i just wanna soil my oats bro
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
