she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
When are your genitals available?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
