Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
