I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
