Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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