Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
