How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
