Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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