Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize