If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
