well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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