it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
This house was built for laser tag.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
