Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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