am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
