kristin has been a bad kristin
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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