erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
