I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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