You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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