got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I cut my penus on the lid.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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