yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
