I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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