At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
