She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
