jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
