Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Let's paint friendship bongs
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
