he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
