office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
