ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
