I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
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Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
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I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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