I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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