She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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