man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
