Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
