It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
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I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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