but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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