dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
