I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
