listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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