On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
