she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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