Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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