garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
