girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
