If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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