So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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