she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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